Sunny Sunday..

Venue: Void Deck of Blk 156

Time: 1145am

Who: Barclay and Pearlin

Weather: SUNNY SUNNY HOT HOT

Mood: Smiling Face on seeing him.

First Destination: Tiong Bahru Market

Transport: Cab

Food n Drinks: Fried fishballs, fishcake in youtiao, fried fishcake wif crabstick, pig’s organs soup, char siew buns, siew mai, chin chow drink, sugar cane drink

Verdict: Fried food yummy. Pig’s organs soup so-so. Char Siew Bun tasted better if it is hot but I ate it late. Siew Mai not bad la.. Chin Chow drinks - thin grass jelly.. easy to suck thru straw.. YuMMy.. Sugar Cane Drink - Dunno.. He drank it..

Second Destination: Great World City

Transport: FOOT. Walked from Tiong Bahru Market to Great World City

Complaint: HOT HOT HOT. Manually fanned ourselves along the way to GWC. Endured the long walk under HOT HOT HOT SUN….

Relief: Reached GWC wif smiles cos AIR CON. Walked around GWC.

Food n Drinks: Uzumaki Green Tea Ice Cream, Ice Mountain Water bottle, Pokka Carrot Juice Big Pet Pack.

Verdict: Uzumaki Green Tea Ice Cream - 2 Stars. Prefer Hokkidao Ice Cream at Central Mall. Ice Mountain Water bottle - 5 stars. Good for me ma.. hee.. Pokka Carrot Juice Big Pet Pack - 5 stars. Of course, it tastes great! But the drinker is not me but HIM. =P

Third n Fourth Destination: Park Mall n The Cathay

Transport: Free Shuttle Bus from GWC to CH, then transport to MRT train at CH to Dhoby Ghaut.

Activities: Park Mall - Looking at the home things such as sofas, beds, tables, etc. The Cathay - Movie called Balls of Fury. During the two hours, we went to a place to rest before going for the movie.

Food n Drinks: Popcorn, Sprite, Iced Lemon Tea

Verdict: Park Mall - Nice unique things at some shops. Thumbs up for these few shops! The Cathay - Couple Seat big and comfy. Grand Cathay cinema very big. Popcorn too sweet for my taste. Iced Lemon Tea - not bad. Sprite - I dunno cos he is the drinker =) Balls of Fury is lame and funny - 3.5 stars.

Fifth Destination: Bugis Junction

Transport: FOOT

Activities: Walked around. Books Kinokuniya, Power Hub, Food Junction.

Food n Drinks: Rice Omelette (2 sets - Hamburger and Chicken)

Verdict: THUMBS DOWN!!! Dun buy it from Food Junction at Bugis Junction.

Sixth Destination: NTUC Fairprice Bishan Junction 8

Transport: MRT

Activities: Shopped for groceries and some drinks.

Verdict: It closes at 10pm but the Beijing cabbages are GONE at 9.30pm when we arrived!!! The supermarket assistants were clearing all the vegs, cabbages, etc at 9.30pm! THUMBS DOWN for their LAZINESS! I think they jus wan to knock off at 10pm instead of staying until late.

Final Destination: HOME SWEET HOME!

Overall MOOD: Happy, Extremely Happy although it was really VERY VERY HOT DAY.

Saw him in bus as he was gg back to bus interchange to take train home.  As I saw him leaving in bus, I miss him more..

Finally…. Barclay, I love you.. I love being with you..

Good Night.. Sweet Dreams…

Curse of IDD day, September 29, 2007…

Arrival time: 1130am

Venue: Studio 54, Ministry of Sound

Mode of Transport: CityCab driven by my friend

First Hiccups: Lost the Pink Monkey and Found by a friend and returned it to me. I was thinking of the bad omen. I could foretell something bad but shrugged it off. 

Interview by Channel 8 delayed. Make-up and hair styling for me delayed as well cos of Channel 8.

Arrival of Channel 8 and was interviewed. Could not check my handphone. Channel 8 said not allowed to use my handphone due to radiowave frequency.

Second Hiccups: He was not happy cos he could not find my friends. Left somewhere. Shocked me by the sudden break-up. Was really very heartbroken but put on brave front.

Performance started….. Lost the trophy cos of the bad performance during couple talent showcase. Could not concentrate well and could not remember the steps well. Was upset. Initially, I wanted to meet him and did not want to stay on after the IDD. But I stayed on cos I was really heartbroken by the break up.

Third Hiccups: Daddy’s sudden overseas SMS - Mummy got asthma attack. I was very worried. I had to rush home from Liang Court McDonalds after drinking iced green tea very super fast. Was crying a bit in a cab. He was on way to my home.

Mummy was fine when I arrived home. She took medicine before I arrived. I told her I wan take her to hospital. She refused. I told her that he was coming. Mummy got flared up cos I told him to come my home. She refused to let him in..

Okokok.. I came downstairs to wait for him in my formal dress. Tears were about to flow down.. Cried heavily and bitterly.. And I “heard” him saying “I am sorry.” He realised that he still loves me a lot and I do. We had a chat as well as my tears refused to stop flowing. Told him I wanted to have a walk wif him. He agreed. We had a walk along the walkway near my home. Hugged him tightly and refused to let him go. I could not bear to let him go. I could not bear to see him go…

In lift, I was not sure if I could “feel” his crying.. Said a good bye to him…

I really hate IDD.. It was really making me very very stressed and pressurized.. It even caused us to break up badly. My heart was really pierced thousands of times. It was really very painful feeling..

But.. we got back together again.. I m really glad.. I don’t want to leave him. I don’t want to let him go.. Even not one time but forever never let him go. Never leave him as well. My heart refuses to leave him, it insists on staying on with him forever.

I love you…

Are we….

drifting apart?

I could sense the drift between us.

My heart refuses to face the reality.

My heart insists on loving him all the life.

Mabbe we are too different. That’s what he said.

I assured: No matter how different we are, my heart is still wif him.

Mabbe he is afraid that his feelings for me will go away at anytime.

I really hate to face the reality of the next heartbreak.

I only can hope that we can stay together as before and forever.

I won’t want to leave him.

I won’t want him to end his life before me.

I can say “I LOVE YOU BARCLAY..”

Heart Breaking….

“I really want you to be with me forever no matter what we are.”

“I really want you to understand and know me as well as my feelings.”

“I really want us to be a married sweet couple for life.”

“I really want to risk my life and feelings for you.”

“I really want to have baby with you.”

“I never think of you as my escape.”

“I never think of you as my sugar daddy.”

“I never think of you as my other spare tyre.”

“I really want to share my life and friends with you.”

“I really want…”

“But I’m scared of one thing from you is your temper.”

“Your temper is really frightening me at some times.”

“But it is for my sake and your true deep love for me.”

“I already give you all my everything in me.”

“I don’t mind dying for you one day.”

“I don’t mind killing myself for you one day.”

“I don’t mind destroying my face and body for you one day.”

“All I want is you, my Barclay.” 

I m already having a heart break. He may think that I m an attention seeking whore. He may think that I still sleep around outside if I go clubbing. He forbids me go clubbing. 

On one incident, I told him that I wanted to go clubbing with my friends since I haven’t been clubbing for ages. He suddenly became panaroid and thought that I would sleep around after clubbing. Cos of this, I had to SMS my friend that I could not go clubbing with him cos of my little man. My friend understood it. He said that it was okay.

“All i’m asking is u to love urself. Hw can I trust u if  u can’t even do that? Be together with me? I doubt so. Hw can u love me if u can’t even love urself? Die for me? I dun wanna be the cause of ur death. Dun stain my hands pls.”

Of what he said and thought of me in many SMSes, it is already killing me and my heart. I feel like getting into the gallows of darkness where I won’t feel anything. It is already killing me and my heart. 

Was I wrong to love him? He said I dun love myself. I do love myself for who I am. I do love him for who he is. But it is really hurting me. It feels as if he has already killed me and my heart stops.

So I shall be his Lady whom he can hurt and kill indirectly without using his hands. I shall be his Lady whom he can lay hands on and let him do whatever he wants. I shall be his Lady whom he can break me and my heart. 

He does not trust me. He thinks me that way. I dunno what I can do right now. The only thing I have to do is to love myself then he will trust me again. I can love myself for who I am. I think he wants me to change into a new Pearlin. He hates the old Pearlin of the present. The old Pearlin of the present loves watching anime, high maintenace staying up late without considering about her health, freedom, Barclay, hanging out with friends till late. He hates these all. He prefers the new Pearlin who loves herself including her health, sleeps early, less freedom with him restricting her freedom, less hanging out with friends or totally leaving friends to be with him but more with him, loves Barclay, low maintenace as well..

Well.. I m already tired… I have been rehearsing a lot for my IDD performance. My feet are already tired.. 

Till then… I really wish to be with him all my life….

To my beloved Barclay,

I love you. Only you. I never go for the other guys but only you. I m already crazy over you. My heart is already captured by you. You took my heart, body, mind and soul. I could not sleep well today.

Your Heartbroken Loving Lady,

Pearlin ….

6 Days More!

Yeah 6 days more! I cannot wait for the day I meet my dear Barclay. I have planned a good thing for him. Hope he will be very happy on that day. Yeah I m gg to spend two days wif him.. I miss him a lot.. I cannot live without him for even a day… Hee.. Mabbe I love him too much..

Darling I love you! Let’s spend our sweetest romantic time in 6 days’ time! =)

Muaks!

Thoughts of the Moment…

I did so much for him.. I wanted to celebrate his birthday on Aug 25. I did my homework.. I emailed to hotels for room rates and buffet rates. I wanted to spend my night with him. I really wanted..

All the sudden, he wanted me to stop. Stop saying this and that.. No Buffets, No Overnight Stay. He said he might work on these days. Recently, he told me that he will take a day leave on Saturday night.. But now he said he might work on these days..

So I stop doing anything.. I let him decide everything. Let him decide what he wants for his birthday celebration. I only can sit back and wait for that day to come. Then we go by the flow on that day.

I love him so much that every little thing can pierce my heart. I know he is exhausted over his work..

Initially my plans for his birthday celebration:

1 - Dinner at Equniox at Raffles City’s tallest hotel

2 - Spend a night at The Royal Peacock Hotel with two complimentary breakfast

3 - Give him the big present (I can reveal them now).. a bag and a wallet from Top Shop.. The rest of the present is not ready yet

4 - Walk around his favorite flea markets at China Square to see anime figurines after breakfast.. Lunch at Chinatown area..

5 - Hi-Tea Buffet at Swissotel Merchant Court Hotel

6 - Go anywhere he wants to go
Now they have to be scrapped away. Luckily I haven’t booked the hotel and reserved the table at the hotels..

Sighz….

My heart loves him so much that it can go crazy over him.. I wanted him to have the best birthday celebration of the year. Was I wrong? Mabbe I never consider his present feelings. I think he is exhausted to think about it..

Good night Beloved Barclay Hubby…

Till then………. I shall wait for that day to come….

Barclay Wishes….

I believe that he wishes…. =P Hee….

Anime Babe of the Week

Can I be like her?

Happy Day….

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Woke up early at 8am to clean up the living room cos it was really messy. My little man overslept and woke up at 9am instead of coming over at 9am =x He was so nervous. I SMSed him to wake him up.. He came over at around 10am (I think).. He was shy when he met Mummy. Heee~ Mummy smiled.

Had home cooked lunch at my place. He fixed my pearly white.. It was back to normal. He even gave it a lot of games which I m so addicted to Eggstreme since now! Mummy could not wait for us to go out cos she wanted to sit on sofa and watch tv.. *LOLz*

I dressed up and left home at 12.30pm with Barclay. Our first destination was China Square. We took bus to Chinatown Point and went to Hello Kitty shop at Chinatown Point! I m really crazy over Hello Kitty.. DAMN CUTE lei… Did not buy anything from there..

We walked to hawker centre at Hong Lim Complex to buy sugar cane juice as I was really thirsty. I shared my drink wif him. We walked to China Square. Wow! A lot of things to see at Flea Market! Japanese anime figurines were almost everywhere! Even HENTAI anime figurines too.. DAMN CUTE!! AWWWW.. cannot buy, cannot display at home.. cos parents will think i m a PERVERT =_=”" He bought me a pack of Hello Kitty keychain torches.. CUTE!!! $22 lei =_=…

After China Square, we went buy gourmet bak kwa at Bee Cheng. Then we went to Lucky Chinatown to see another anime shop at B2.. He had his friend to place an order for him.. Gundam figurine.. =_=”" or wat was it? =x Cannot rem.. wahahahha..

Our next destination was Great World City. We took a cab down there cos he said it was not really far from there. We walked around.. We fell in love with Molecules as they sell very nice designs of many things.. Walking around dreaming… *LOLz***

He dunno where the shuttle bus to Orchard was.. So I led him to the shuttle bus stop.. But the wait was really long. He suggested cab… When we were about to take a cab, the shuttle bus came! I told him.. SAVE MONEY ma.. hahahahahh We dropped at CK Tangs bus stop and took a bus to Le Meriden Hotel bus stop. Our destination was OG Orchard Point to look for a pair of black 3/4 bermudas which I wanted to buy for him.. They were on sale but not BLACK COLOR! wailz!!! Robinsons Centrepoint also dun haf.. =_=…

Finally we went to Bugis Library to have our dinner at Hans. The dinner was okay.. We went to Bugis Junction.. Books Kinokuniya.. =) I showed him the manga books which I wanted to have. He placed an order for me at his friend’s comic shop.

At last, we had a long rest around Bugis area. It was raining when we had rest.. We took a cab home at 10pm plus.. Late for my Korean TV drama =x cos no cabs were in sight.. He had to call a cab..

“Glad to be with him.. Glad to go out with him on a Sunday..”

Till then…. =)

Ok ok ok here is Barclay’s BELOVED ANIME FIGURINE! =(^o^)= meow!~

Revive the old past pics…..

Part 1….

Part 2….